When you need someone to lean on, sometimes two legs are better than four.

Holly Clanahan

Almost exactly a month ago, I went through what I wish no horse owner ever had to – I had to have two of my horses put down. The elderly mares, known collectively as “the grandmas,” left behind a huge void. They both had been part of my family since the 1980s, and there are some great stories there, but I can’t tell them just yet. It’s too soon, too raw. But here’s what I can write about, most thankfully – the horsey friends who helped me through it.

Last week, the mail brought a fat envelope from a friend of mine near Amarillo. I assumed it was some sort of Christmas something, and I filed away a mental note that my Christmas cards are, as usual, going to be late if I don’t get them done soon. But opening the envelope, I saw instead a handwritten note and a bundle of tissue paper. “Here is a little token to honor your ‘grandma’ horses,” the note read.

Inside was a horse memory necklace she’d had made for me, braided leather with a silver charm of a horse head and horseshoe.

Click this image to e-mail the maker if you'd like to send a similar horse memory necklace to a friend. Be sure to put "horse memory necklace" in the subject line.

With hands that quivered just a little, I put on the necklace and immediately felt comforted – not only by the horses’ memories, but also by the warmth of the knowledge that I have some truly great friends in my corner. I’ve worn it every day since.

Other friends had text-messaged me the day the vet came out, and I was grateful for that consideration. I probably couldn’t have spoken many words that day, but it was very reassuring to know that friends were holding me in their thoughts. As fellow horse owners, we all dread the day we’ll have to face something similar.

Still other friends called later. And when I arrived at the AQHA World Championship Show about a week afterward, to help with the event’s coverage, a sympathy card was waiting on me at my desk. And there were kindhearted conversations about how difficult it is to make such a decision.

Other friends had previously been there for me over the phone, helping me make the decision as they shared their own experiences and offered some long-distance hugs.

I’ve appreciated these horsey friends before. After all, it’s always handy to have someone to talk to about training problems and management concerns – or someone who will let us brag just a little when the ponies do something spectacular. But when you need someone to lean on, wow, that’s when our fellow horsewomen are really good at stepping up.

And so this is a good chance for me to let all my friends know how much I truly do appreciate them. To everyone who has been such a source of strength to me, a thank-you seems wholly inadequate. So how about this: a promise that when you need me, I’ll be there for you, too.

Holly Clanahan
Editor, America’s Horse magazine

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